In other words, buying American is now an act of treason. But that should not be taken as a slap in the face to American auto workers. Got that?

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Oh, for the simple times of hating France and Dan Rather! Now, both major American donut makers are off-limits, granite countertops are strictly verboten, you can’t buy American cars, and field mice, bear DNA, and volcano-monitoring have replaced Islamofascism as the greatest threats we face. Anyone who doesn’t know what “where’s the birth certificate” means is suspect.